Consider this: there is no such thing as a bad day. The way we react to the events happening around us can make us feel angry, frustrated, hurt, and like we are having a bad day, but the day itself is not bad. It’s just how we are responding to reality (which is completely in our control, by the way) that makes us struggle.
How does it make you feel when you realize that your actual day isn’t bad, maybe you simply need a perspective shift? Is a weight suddenly lifted off? Maybe you even find it a little humorous realizing how you caused your own suffering, for possibly no reason at all? I know I have felt that way before. I am going to try and consciously live with the mindset that “there is no such thing as a bad day” and see where it takes me.
Ken taught me the value of perspective when he asked me once, “how was your day?” I said, “not great, I had a pretty anxious day.” He laughed and replied “there’s no such thing as an anxious day, Courtney. A day has no feelings or preferences, a day can’t be happy or anxious or sad, a day is just a day, nothing more and nothing less. So…how was your day?”
I rolled my eyes and gave him a sideways grin, “my day was good, I felt a little bit anxious at times during the day, but overall, the day was good.” And suddenly it felt like the clouds parted and the light shone through. Because that is how global, black and white thinking feels. It feels like everyone is out to get you and everything that happens is viewed through shit-stained lenses. Even though I didn’t realize the impact it was having on me, classifying my entire day as “anxious” was quite frankly dramatic and made me believe that I had a legitimate reason to suffer. It’s like being on a diet and eating a cookie for breakfast, and then throwing away the entire rest of the day with pizza, candy, Philly Cheeesesteaks, and soft drinks because it was a “bad day” from the start and it was already ruined, right? Instead, you could eat that cookie and then have a healthy breakfast, go to the gym, and still eat a nutritious lunch and dinner. The day is not ruined because of a cookie, the day is ruined because you made it so.
Ken gave me another swift kick in my global thinking rear when I was complaining that I was tired of having two jobs because I was exhausted constantly and had to work “all weekend long.” He made me tell him the actual hours I worked over the weekend, and they were nowhere near “all weekend long.” Again, I was telling myself I had a legitimate reason to suffer when really my perspective was just off.
Are you telling yourself you have a legitimate reason to suffer, when maybe it isn’t the case? I woke up this morning with the thought, “why do I ever have a bad day? Why do I do that to myself? Every day is good when my perspective is good (read seeing reality for what it is and not telling myself stories about how I think it is).”