The Hamburgler

In 2008, Isaac and  I shared a home with another couple named Christina and Michael.  One night the four of us decided  to grill some burgers and hot dogs and enjoy them while watching the beautiful Florida Keys sun set. After devouring our feast, we all started making our way towards bed. Isaac cleaned up the kitchen and put the last hamburger in a Tupperware for his lunch the next day.

The next morning I heard Isaac shuffling around in the kitchen, grumbling away. He stormed into the bedroom and said “I think Christina or Michael ate the hamburger I was saving! There is only one small bite left.” I gave him the most empathy that I could muster at 6:30 AM and agreed, one of them probably did eat it. Within the next 15 minutes our entire house was awake and we were all getting ready to head to work, the Dolphin Research Center. Isaac confronted Michael and Christina about the 3/4 eaten hamburger, and both of them had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. They both insisted that they didn’t touch the hamburger.

As if a light bulb went off in Isaac’s head, he gave me “the look.” That look that I have seen many times before. The one I get the morning after I have done something ridiculous in my sleep. He asked me again “Court, did you eat my hamburger?” I responded “NO! I really didn’t!” I knew the truth though. I knew that I had eaten it in my sleep. Not because I remembered eating it in my sleep, but I knew that I had slept walk the night before. And if I didn’t eat it, who did? It’s a really interesting feeling I have the morning after sleep walking. It’s extremely difficult to explain to people, and so far I haven’t met any sleep walkers that get a similar feeling. Upon waking, I usually know immediately if I slept walk/talked the night before. I don’t always remember what I did or said, but I know something happened. Most mornings before Isaac even says anything I will say “ohhh man, what did I do last night?”

So the morning that the hamburger incident had taken place, I knew deep down in my meat filled belly the truth about what had happened. I scrambled to the kitchen in the middle of the night and ate Isaac’s hamburger, but saved him one tiny bite! I tried explaining this silver lining to him, that the important thing was that I SAVED him a bite! He didn’t seem to feel quite as optimistic as I did.

That wasn’t the only time I have eaten in my sleep, but it definitely isn’t a “norm” in my sleepwalking routine, thank God! I have seen those Dateline episodes where people have nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder (NS-RED). Yep, it’s a real thing. Scary! Lets hope my sleepwalking activities stick to verbally harassing Isaac and checking the apartment for intruders.

2 thoughts on “The Hamburgler

  1. Pingback: Little Conversations (lunch thief) « The Other Courtney

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