Formula

I had to stop breastfeeding when the baby was 5 weeks oldI say had to, but really, it was a choiceThat’s what motherhood is– choice after choice after choiceHow will I mother in this moment?How will I respond to the things that are out of my control today? I had to decided to stop breastfeeding…

Vow Renewal

An excerpt from the book I’m working on- prose and essays on motherhood. The first timeA short service On a crisp spring dayStars in our eyesPromises on our lipsI doAnd I do, too The second timeA 3-day ceremonySoundtracked by tears and breaths In perfect synchronyWorking to bring our creationEarthside and into our arms The third time Standing in…

Lessons From a Bumble Bee

Sitting in the garden last week, as if in slow motion,I watched my daughter touch a bumble bee on the backAnd then lean forward to blow it a loud, exaggerated kissBefore it flew away Maybe not the safest thing to be observing, without stepping in,But I was mesmerized by the sceneAnd I was also tiredBut…

Grandpa

This past weekend, on Saturday, August 14th, my grandfather passed away. It’s strange writing this out knowing that his email address is subscribed to my blog, so as soon as I hit “publish”, an inbox that used to belong to my grandpa will get a notification announcing his passing. It’s all just…strange. Two weeks ago,…

Mental Health Barometer

Have you ever taken the time to think through and write out what a healthy state of mental functioning looks like for you? We know automatically what physical wellness feels like. It’s something we have been in-tune with our whole lives. Our first wellness checks at the doctor start at 2 days old, and they…

Feeling All The Feels

For over a year now, I have been participating in a Monday night zoom call called “Monday Mamas.” It is facilitated by the lovely Dawn Geschiere of Yes To Life Coaching. This month, we are having weekly, facilitated discussions around the topic of courage. About two months ago, Dawn was diagnosed with breast cancer. Being…

Courting Creativity

For two months now, I have been dedicated to a daily practice. Each morning I wake up and write morning pages before doing anything else. Some mornings my eyes are half open as I write and I can barely see the words spilling onto my pages. The mornings I think I have nothing to write…

Praying for Keeps

Millions of prayers whisperedAs parents look down on their young A full lifeA future wifeHealth, wealth, and safety These words are prayers but more like pleasA dealA demandA need We dream of hopes for those tiny toesAnd wishes for that grinBut what if all we hope for them is already within? I pray for self-acceptance,…

Get Unstuck

A few weeks ago, I closed off another round of working with the counselor who inspired this blog 10 years ago. When I started seeing him about 7 months ago, my inner guiding voice was a hot mess. Between having an infant at home, the pandemic, and working full-time from home with said infant, things…