Racing Thoughts

Racing thoughts, running wildWhere could they be going?It doesn’t matter, screams the lead to the lineWe’ll know when we get there, in time Circling and charging, day after dayTo them, a gameTo me, only pain Shhhh, I whisper Unsure if I’m comforting or chastisingPlease, pull overWe need rest Sideline sitting feels taxing, tooThe engines in…

I Love a Good System

Trigger warning: may be painfully boring work-related discussion & tips It’s been a few months since I started my new role at work. I used to manage about 15 part-time employees and had oversight of two programs. Now I manage about 30 employees and oversee 5 programs. Before I started this new position, the former…

Baker’s Meditation

Several months ago, I had the idea that I wanted to adapt some mindfulness and meditation practices into something that I could start teaching my two-year old, Baker. I quickly realized that I had nothing to teach her about mindfulness– she was the one teaching me about being present and aware every day. Young children…

DNF

I always used to force myself to finish books I was reading even if I wasn’t really enjoying them. Then a few years ago, a librarian friend of mine told me that she has no problem abandoning books if they aren’t captivating her. She swept her arm out in front of her and motioned to…

Showing Up

So many times. So many times I’ve opened up a new page on WordPress in an attempt to write, and nothing flows. It’s my own doing– I’ve been neglecting my writing lately. I miss it. I miss being in flow, feeling the creative spark and running to my notebook or phone to jot down an…

Grieving

It has been a few months since my grandpa died. Since then, my grandma and I have shared many conversations about him, their marriage, their lives as individuals, and the grieving process. As I sat in line at the carwash a few days ago catching up with “Memow” on the phone, I asked her what…

Expanded

For Renee, Charlotte, Christina, and Katy What happens to a motherWhen the heart she grew for youSuddenly has to make room For two What happens to a motherWho once spent her daysPlayingTeachingCuddlingDancingBribingLaughingExplainingExploring Is now married to the couch, bed, or kitchen floorReally anywhere the newest and most helpless childNeeds her more What happens to a motherWho…

Formula

I had to stop breastfeeding when the baby was 5 weeks oldI say had to, but really, it was a choiceThat’s what motherhood is– choice after choice after choiceHow will I mother in this moment?How will I respond to the things that are out of my control today? I had to decided to stop breastfeeding…