I’ve let myself go To bed earlier than ever beforeTo the gymOnly to sit in the parking lot with a coffeeAnd a sigh I’ve let myself go Back to workForward into a new realityBoldly into each dayEven when I’d rather stayIn bed I’ve let myself go To the park when it’s rainingTo the merry-go-round that’s…
Life is tiring right now. It’s good, but tiring. That quote that says, “The days are long, but the years are short”, when referencing child rearing, feels especially true right now. It seems so odd that we have these lives where we can do and experience so many incredible things– yet we devote most of…
Racing thoughts, running wildWhere could they be going?It doesn’t matter, screams the lead to the lineWe’ll know when we get there, in time Circling and charging, day after dayTo them, a gameTo me, only pain Shhhh, I whisper Unsure if I’m comforting or chastisingPlease, pull overWe need rest Sideline sitting feels taxing, tooThe engines in…
Trigger warning: may be painfully boring work-related discussion & tips It’s been a few months since I started my new role at work. I used to manage about 15 part-time employees and had oversight of two programs. Now I manage about 30 employees and oversee 5 programs. Before I started this new position, the former…
For Noreen & Duane
I had to stop breastfeeding when the baby was 5 weeks oldI say had to, but really, it was a choiceThat’s what motherhood is– choice after choice after choiceHow will I mother in this moment?How will I respond to the things that are out of my control today? I had to decided to stop breastfeeding…
I want to be alone I want to be with people, even the loud and stumbling and belligerent ones Don’t touch me, I’m claustrophobic Hug me tightly and hold my face in your hands, even if they’re clammy I need a routine I want to live each day different from the last I want to…
I sat in the lobby waiting to hear my name. Mismatched clothes, slippers for shoes, bloated and empty belly resting on my striped thighs. I couldn’t look at the glowing women around me, I wondered what they might see in my face? Terror Exhaustion Apathy Sadness Counterfeit joy Envy Anger Confusion Physical pain Emotional pain…
The weird thing about trauma exposure is that it can come back in unexpected, powerful ways. Even years after the trauma has occurred, and you have been mostly symptom-free, something can trigger a trauma response and you are nearly powerless to its might. Trauma affects the way our brains develop, how we behave, and how…
PHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH That is the sound of me blowing the dust off the ol’ blog. It has been over two years since I have written here, dayum! When typing in my blog address this afternoon, I wondered if I would have to log in again or if by some miracle it would still be auto logged-in.…
The Other Courtney 