6 Months In Isolation: Everything a Contradiction

I want to be alone

I want to be with people, even the loud and stumbling and belligerent ones

Don’t touch me, I’m claustrophobic

Hug me tightly and hold my face in your hands, even if they’re clammy

I need a routine

I want to live each day different from the last

I want to wake up by alarm and start my day with purpose

I want to sleep in as long as possible

I miss getting dressed up

I love dressing comfortably every day

I miss parties

I don’t like parties

I am bored

I am overstimulated

I am lazy

I am working harder and longer hours than ever before

I have hope

I am hopeless

I should stop eating so many hot dogs

I ate hot dogs for breakfast and dinner today

I could cry I feel so tired and defeated

I could cry I feel so energized and strong

I am scared

I am at peace

I judge everyone

I have empathy and understanding for everyone

People are stupid

People are brilliant and magical

When will this be over?

I’m not sure I’m ready for my current way of life to end

I should leave the house

What’s the point of leaving the house?

I’m ready for summer to end

I’m terrified of what it will feel like to be cold and trapped inside in isolation this winter

I want to throw away my phone

I can’t stop checking my phone

I don’t know what I want

I’ve never felt more in tune with my needs

I miss my family

I miss my family

I miss my family

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