The Me-You-Me Tool: An Antidote for Automatic People Pleasing Behaviors
I have always been a people pleaser, it’s simply ingrained in who I am. This doesn’t mean I don’t speak my mind, engage in conflict when necessary, and follow my own intuition and desires– it just means that my knee-jerk, automatic response is to make others happy and do/say what I know will please them.…
6 Months In Isolation: Everything a Contradiction
I want to be alone I want to be with people, even the loud and stumbling and belligerent ones Don’t touch me, I’m claustrophobic Hug me tightly and hold my face in your hands, even if they’re clammy I need a routine I want to live each day different from the last I want to…
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
I used to do this thing where at the end of the year, I’d post some of the foods, products, and random things I loved and enjoyed over the past year. I haven’t done it in years, and yes it is only August, but I decided to make another one of these posts because quarantine…
Exactly Enough
People start asking you very soon after having a child if you plan to have a second one. A harmless and understandable question, sure. But it always sends a shock through me. I know the socially appropriate way to respond, so I smile and give a lighthearted, “Maybe!” or “We’ll see!” Sometimes if I have the time…
I Saw You, Too
The following poem was written by a friend of mine who attended a protest in Louisville, Kentucky yesterday. I have read it several times over, and each time I find something new in it to love, each time something hits a little differently. Thanks, Jas, for your beautiful words. Your bravery. Your insight. Your compassion,…
The Questionnaire
I sat in the lobby waiting to hear my name. Mismatched clothes, slippers for shoes, bloated and empty belly resting on my striped thighs. I couldn’t look at the glowing women around me, I wondered what they might see in my face? Terror Exhaustion Apathy Sadness Counterfeit joy Envy Anger Confusion Physical pain Emotional pain…
I Can Do The Same (Even During a Pandemic)
In the way that you cry when you’re tired and lonely, I am reminded that I can do the same. In the way that you allow yourself to be held, comforted, and kissed by someone who loves you, I am reminded that I can do the same. In the way that you continue to eat…
Parted
I’ve been thinking about our hearts How you listened to mine beating for months How I listened to yours beating for months How you felt the steady rhythm of mine creating a soft vibration against your forming body How I watched yours on a little black screen, smiling at each rhythmic rise and fall I’ve…
When Babies Bring Immense Happiness With a Side of Trauma Response
The weird thing about trauma exposure is that it can come back in unexpected, powerful ways. Even years after the trauma has occurred, and you have been mostly symptom-free, something can trigger a trauma response and you are nearly powerless to its might. Trauma affects the way our brains develop, how we behave, and how…