10 Years

For the last few weeks, I’ve been binge watching the horribly trashy TV show, Love Is Blind. I took a few years off of reality shows, and it has been deliciously awful to dive back into them. This show certainly doesn’t make you think critically about life or love, but in each episode, the same…

Baker’s Meditation

Several months ago, I had the idea that I wanted to adapt some mindfulness and meditation practices into something that I could start teaching my two-year old, Baker. I quickly realized that I had nothing to teach her about mindfulness– she was the one teaching me about being present and aware every day. Young children…

Showing Up

So many times. So many times I’ve opened up a new page on WordPress in an attempt to write, and nothing flows. It’s my own doing– I’ve been neglecting my writing lately. I miss it. I miss being in flow, feeling the creative spark and running to my notebook or phone to jot down an…

Grieving

It has been a few months since my grandpa died. Since then, my grandma and I have shared many conversations about him, their marriage, their lives as individuals, and the grieving process. As I sat in line at the carwash a few days ago catching up with “Memow” on the phone, I asked her what…

Expanded

For Renee, Charlotte, Christina, and Katy What happens to a motherWhen the heart she grew for youSuddenly has to make room For two What happens to a motherWho once spent her daysPlayingTeachingCuddlingDancingBribingLaughingExplainingExploring Is now married to the couch, bed, or kitchen floorReally anywhere the newest and most helpless childNeeds her more What happens to a motherWho…

Formula

I had to stop breastfeeding when the baby was 5 weeks oldI say had to, but really, it was a choiceThat’s what motherhood is– choice after choice after choiceHow will I mother in this moment?How will I respond to the things that are out of my control today? I had to decided to stop breastfeeding…

Screaming for Smiles

Today I encountered a woman screaming at her children because she wanted to take a photo of them smiling in front of a lake. Her kids were grinning at each other, at passers by, up at the cloudless sky, across the gleaming water– they were smiling at everything except for their mom. In fact, they…

Vow Renewal

An excerpt from the book I’m working on- prose and essays on motherhood. The first timeA short service On a crisp spring dayStars in our eyesPromises on our lipsI doAnd I do, too The second timeA 3-day ceremonySoundtracked by tears and breaths In perfect synchronyWorking to bring our creationEarthside and into our arms The third time Standing in…