Today I had every intention of getting off of work and going to two gym classes: abs and kickboxing. I was going to bust my ass at the gym, come home to eat a salad, and pat myself on the back for still being healthy even after saying “I do.” Not letting myself go, no siree!
Instead, I came home from work, ate an entire sleeve of Thin Mints, and got into bed for the night at 6:30 pm. In between cookies, I shoveled chips and salsa into my mouth finishing half a bag of “family sized” Tostitos and half a jar of salsa. Salsa is kind of a fruit, right? It’s still kind of healthy? At one point I even ate a mint chocolate
crack rock cookie while I still had a mouth full of salsa just to see what it would be like. Please note, this all took place sitting in my living room in the dark, just to paint a clear picture. THAT is how bad my day was.
Before getting into bed, I went to my pajama drawer and pulled out a pair of yoga pants. After realizing the pants I had pulled, I neatly folded them up and put them away again. Why? Because they were my “fancy yoga pants.” It wasn’t until I put on my “non fancy yoga pants” that I realized what had just happened, and that it hadn’t even seemed bizarre to me. I awkwardly burst into hysterics standing alone in my closet and seriously contemplated the direction my life is headed.
Is this what I’ve become? I have yoga pants that I won’t wear to bed because I want to keep them clean, unwrinkled, and untainted for my next venture out into the big, bright world. Great. I’m one mullet and two missing teeth away from making the front page of People of Wal-mart.
Whatever. For now I’m going to enjoy the fact that yoga pants are considered acceptable attire to most of society. I am going to be proud of the fact that I have a different pair of yoga pants for every day of the week. After all, it could be worse.
PS does anyone actually buy yoga pants to practice yoga? My poor girls have never seen the inside of a yoga studio. They don’t even know that they are in fact yoga pants. Shhhhh don’t tell them.