Fancy Pants (The Aftermath of a Bad Day)

Today I had every intention of getting off of work and going to two gym classes: abs and kickboxing. I was going to bust my ass at the gym, come home to eat a salad, and pat myself on the back for still being healthy even after saying “I do.” Not letting myself go, no…

My Favorite Formaldehyde Sweater

A few months ago, my mom told me about a new laundry detergent that she had discovered called Molly’s Suds. It was “all natural with no harmful chemicals” she excitedly told me. The words “all natural” make me very cautious these days. I have discovered that when a cleaning product calls ┬áitself “all natural” it…

The Way to Ruin a Perfect Day

Shopping. Shopping for clothes is the way to ruin the most beautiful of days. The sun can be shining, the birds chirping, my hair looking red carpet worthy, and none of it matters. As soon as I step into a cramped dressing room surrounded by 18 mirrors all apparently on fun-house setting, my whole day…

The Husky Sheds Her Winter Coat

When I was 12 years old I loved to shop at GAP Kids, much like other girls and boys my age. Unlike most other pre-teenies though, I had to wear GAP’s Husky line of pants and shorts. HUSKY- meaning “these pants will fit your fat kid because she can’t fit into our regular sized clothes.”…