Last week I began my fourth online class towards my Humanities Degree. I have come to an important realization: I hate online classes.
In 2007 I enrolled in an online class in addition to my “real” classes and dropped it within two weeks. There is absolutely nothing that appeals to me about taking classes online. It is extremely frustrating because I love being a student and learning, I even like taking quizzes, tests, and pages of notes during a lecture! But online classes? They make me angry. From the past 3 classes that I have taken and received A’s in, I could not tell you ONE thing I learned. Hell, I don’t even remember the names of two of them. They blow by and are neither stimulating or satisfying.
I hate logging into my virtual classroom and seeing that the professor has posted the same exact feedback for 30 different posts made by my classmates. I hate that when I have a question about a certain topic I cannot simply raise my hand and ask, I have to post it to a discussion forum. It may be 4 days before I get an answer to my question, and by then the assignment is already over with. I hate blowing through chapters of an online textbook and never really understanding any of the topics we discuss. I hate wasting my time and money on courses that are going towards a degree that I have no idea what I’m going to do with.
I miss sitting in a real classroom, having real interaction with classmates. I want to find a way to make this happen again. In one of my last counseling sessions with Ken, he gave me a surprising 20-minute lecture. He told me that he was amazed at how far I had grown emotionally and how my perspective had changed. He also said that my biggest source of anxiety and frustration in life is going to be with my schooling and future career choice. He could not have been more right. Today I realized that these online classes make me so miserable, there is no way I can continue to do this for the next few years in order to finish a seemingly pointless degree. I need to discuss my options with Isaac and see what we can come up with because this is not working anymore.
For a brief moment I thought “I should have just stayed in school and finished my degree. I would have graduated 3 years ago!!!!” Sure, that was an option. But if I had chosen that route? I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to work with dolphins, meet my future husband, move to this city that I love so much, and somehow fall into my current job. Nothing would be the same. So for that, I am thankful. I am just feeling a little confused as to what to do now. The question what do you want to be when you grow up keeps ringing in my ears. I AM grown up, so what do I want to be?