It has been exactly two weeks since I found out about my little bundle of joy, Tamara, aka the hemorrhagic cyst in my abdomen. Overall things have been getting better, but there are still bad days. Days when even sitting down is torture and breathing in feels like a dull blade is being driven into my right side. Living with Tamara has taught me a few things about myself, and has forced me to keep repeating “everything happens for a reason.”
What has Tamara taught me?
- I love exercising. I love running, sweating, and the feeling of utter exhaustion after an intense gym session. I have felt pretty depressed in the past two weeks because my highest level of activity has been vacuuming, after which I had to lay down and rest. Ugh.
- I have learned that when I am pregnant someday, not sleeping on my stomach for 9 months is probably going to be the hardest part of the pregnancy for me. These past two weeks of back sleeping have felt like an eternity.
- Acceptance is still something I struggle with, but I am grateful for another chance to learn this important virtue. I like to be in control, so having a growth in my body that is beyond my control has been difficult. Keeping my frantic “what if” thoughts under control has been a challenge in itself.
- I LOVE having only one job. I am taking a brief medical leave from the restaurant and I must say, getting off of my day job at 5pm and going HOME has been amazing. It’s going to be hard to get back into the groove of 16-hour workdays.
- It’s really hard for me to walk up a set of stairs like a normal human or lady should. I like to bound up them in gazelle fashion, hitting as few steps as possible. Tamara does not allow me to conquer a set of stairs the way I prefer. She has made it very clear that jumping is not on my list of “safe activities” yet.
- Isaac is a fantastic caretaker and has made my minor life adjustments a lot easier. He is constantly jumping up to bring me ice bags, heat bags, and food. He is amazing.
So, there are good things to be found every situation, no matter how frustrating and inconvenient it may be. The thing I am most upset about is the plans that I had to cancel for this weekend.
Several months ago my friend, Bridget, and I signed up for The Warrior Dash. According to Wikipedia: Warrior Dash is an extreme 5-6K running race with obstacles, including jumping over fire and crawling through mud with barbed wire hung overhead.
I was so excited to step out of my comfort zone and put all of my weight training/running to the test! Bridget and I have been looking forward to this Warrior Dash for months now, she even bought me a “sporty” fanny pack to carry my inhaler in. We were going to crush the obstacles and drag ourselves to the finish line where we would be rewarded with a beer and a viking hat.
Obviously, I am not allowed to participate in Warrior Dash now. I don’t even care about the $70 I am losing, I just wanted to DO it. I have never done a 5k before, especially one laced with fire and barbed wire. I know there will be another opportunity to do The Warrior Dash, I’m just bummed. As Bridget reminded me though, maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe Tamara is saving me from a potentially life threatening asthma attack or other injury I would have sustained during the race. Everything happens for a reason.
Good luck to Bridget who is doing the Warrior Dash alone this weekend. That takes some balls, and I could not be more proud!!!