True life: I got married and let myself go. Immediately. It wasn’t a gradual slip into slices of pizza, eating cookies by the box, and drinking Coke nonstop, it happened literally the night of my wedding.
Isaac and I got into our honeymoon suite, showered, and crawled into bed with a bag of Oreos and two cans of Pringles, they were all the hotel had to offer us that late at night. I could not have been happier. There I sat eating hundreds (thousands?) of calories, my wedding dress crumpled on the floor in a pile of white confetti and my hubby by my side, sharing in my gluttony. Isn’t that every girl’s dream wedding night? No? Oh…
Anyway, that glorious Oreo and Pringle filled night set off something in my brain. It’s like I was Cinderella, but instead of turning back into a poor maid at midnight, I turned into a ravenous beast who knew that because she no longer had to fit into a tiny wedding dress, she could feast.
And feast she did.
This past Saturday I ate 8 ice cream sandwiches. I also crushed BBQ, pizza, lasagna, two family size bags of chips, nachos, a jumbo smoothie, goldfish, multiple bowls of cereal, and a few burritos. What a weekend! I felt like a drug addict on a 48-hour bender, I just couldn’t stop. That text message I sent Isaac about gaining 6 pounds was before my weekend bender, so you can imagine the state I’m in now. The pants I almost threw away a few months ago because they were too baggy? They are now nice and snug, almost too tight.
I’m not worried though. I am thankful for a husband who will laugh and agree with me when I put on my favorite red dress and say “OH MY GOSH LOOK HOW HUGE MY ASS HAS GOTTEN!!!!! LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!” He has enough sense to know when he can be brutally honest with me. If I were getting ready for an event and asked him “do I look fat?” He would swear on his life that “no, I look tiny and beautiful.” But when I grab my lovehandle with both hands and laugh while showing him my new and horrifying prized possession, his eyes bulge and he asks to touch it. He’s a keeper.
So today was the day I decided to stop being disgusting. I set my alarm for 5am and actually went to the gym at that ungodly hour. I started tracking my calories on loseit.com again, and now I remember why that program works. Why I lost 15 pounds on it so easily a few years ago.
Here was my day today:
Ummmm, I don’t see any room for ice cream sandwiches, soda, or half of a large pizza. Do you? I feel like I have barely eaten today, yet I’m just about at my calorie limit. I ate “dinner” at 4:00pm so if I want a real meal before bed, I’m going to have to go run a few miles first. I think I’ll just eat a bag of veggies and call it a night!
I’m excited to get back into shape. I’m not going to lie, the past month of junk food has been GLORIOUS, but one cannot live this way. I now remember what it feels like to sit down and feel uncomfortable because you can feel your stomach rolls. I remember what it feels like to hate wearing jeans because they suffocate the fat and the waist band just isn’t stretchy enough. I remember how hard pushups at 5am are when you haven’t done them for several months, and how sad that makes me. I used to love pushups at 5am!! This may all sound pretty dramatic, after all it’s barely ten pounds I’ve gained, but ten pounds on someone who is 5’3 is a lot. When I dropped 15 pounds, I lost 4 pant sizes!! It’s a lot.
So here it is, my public declaration to stop being a ravenous, junk-food-eating, non-exercising, girl. I want to be healthy, happy, and feel comfortable in my own skin. Also, I hate to be the cliche girl who lets herself go after saying “I do.”
This is me saying “I won’t” (let myself go). You bloggy people better hold me accountable.