WIFE : Will Ingest Freaking Everything


It’s true, I did the math

True life: I got married and let myself go. Immediately. It wasn’t a gradual slip into slices of pizza, eating cookies by the box, and drinking Coke nonstop, it happened literally the night of my wedding.

Isaac and I got into our honeymoon suite, showered, and crawled into bed with a bag of Oreos and two cans of Pringles, they were all the hotel had to offer us that late at night. I could not have been happier. There I sat eating hundreds (thousands?) of calories, my wedding dress crumpled on the floor in a pile of white confetti and my hubby by my side, sharing in my gluttony. Isn’t that every girl’s dream wedding night? No? Oh…

Anyway, that glorious Oreo and Pringle filled night set off something in my brain. It’s like I was Cinderella, but instead of turning back into a poor maid at midnight, I turned into a ravenous beast who knew that because she no longer had to fit into a tiny wedding dress, she could feast.

And feast she did.

This past Saturday I ate 8 ice cream sandwiches. I also crushed BBQ, pizza, lasagna, two family size bags of chips, nachos, a jumbo smoothie, goldfish, multiple bowls of cereal, and a few burritos. What a weekend! I felt like a drug addict on a 48-hour bender, I just couldn’t stop. That text message I sent Isaac about gaining 6 pounds was before my weekend bender, so you can imagine the state I’m in now. The pants I almost threw away a few months ago because they were too baggy? They are now nice and snug, almost too tight.

I’m not worried though. I am thankful for a husband who will laugh and agree with me when I put on my favorite red dress and say “OH MY GOSH LOOK HOW HUGE MY ASS HAS GOTTEN!!!!! LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!” He has enough sense to know when he can be brutally honest with me. If I were getting ready for an event and asked him “do I look fat?” He would swear on his life that “no, I look tiny and beautiful.” But when I grab my lovehandle with both hands and laugh while showing him my new and horrifying prized possession, his eyes bulge and he asks to touch it. He’s a keeper.

So today was the day I decided to stop being disgusting. I set my alarm for 5am and actually went to the gym at that ungodly hour. I started tracking my calories on loseit.com again, and now I remember why that program works. Why I lost 15 pounds on it so easily a few years ago.

Here was my day today:


Ummmm, I don’t see any room for ice cream sandwiches, soda, or half of a large pizza. Do you? I feel like I have barely eaten today, yet I’m just about at my calorie limit. I ate “dinner” at 4:00pm so if I want a real meal before bed, I’m going to have to go run a few miles first. I think I’ll just eat a bag of veggies and call it a night!

I’m excited to get back into shape. I’m not going to lie, the past month of junk food has been GLORIOUS, but one cannot live this way. I now remember what it feels like to sit down and feel uncomfortable because you can feel your stomach rolls. I remember what it feels like to hate wearing jeans because they suffocate the fat and the waist band just isn’t stretchy enough. I remember how hard pushups at 5am are when you haven’t done them for several months, and how sad that makes me. I used to love pushups at 5am!! This may all sound pretty dramatic, after all it’s barely ten pounds I’ve gained, but ten pounds on someone who is 5’3 is a lot. When I dropped 15 pounds, I lost 4 pant sizes!! It’s a lot.

So here it is, my public declaration to stop being a ravenous, junk-food-eating, non-exercising, girl. I want to be healthy, happy, and feel comfortable in my own skin. Also, I hate to be the cliche girl who lets herself go after saying “I do.”

This is me saying “I won’t” (let myself go). You bloggy people better hold me accountable.


23 thoughts on “WIFE : Will Ingest Freaking Everything

  1. Great post (as usual), and thanks for introducing me to LostIt.com Already set a goal and I may have to get the app as well. I know you’ll reach your goal no problem. Here’s hoping there’s a sense of mutual accountability so I can reach mine.

    • Thanks, Gil! I’m so glad you like loseit, it has been one of the best things in my life. It actually makes tracking your calories kind of fun, and yes definitely get the app! You can scan the barcodes of food making it really easy to track the calories. We can be “buddies” on there! 🙂

      Thanks for the encouragement, it’s going well so far! Getting back into my gym classes was key for me, now I’m hooked again! I’ll keep you accountable if you do me too!

    • LOl thank you!!! I enjoyed every calorie, trust me 😀 At some point I’m gonna post some more wedding pics, our photographer was AMAZING. I am so in love with them. We have so many that I keep joking we should just make wallpaper for our house. Why not? Other than the fact that we’d look like the most conceded people ever if guests were to come over 🙂

  2. You say you want to get in shape? Well, round IS a shape, you know… 😉 LOL I couldn’t resist. I love how candid and honest you are, as well as willing to poke a bit of fun at yourself! I’ve been eating a TON lately too so your binge list sounded extremely delicious, after reading it I was torn between wanting to go and get food versus make a workout plan… haha. I got fast food from the DRIVE THROUGH last week which I never do, and now my car smells like greasy french fries and I am a little bit ashamed of all the other crap I ate this past week. So I love this post! And wow, it’s awesome that you get up at 5 am to work out. Sounds like you have some great dedication and a good plan to get back to feeling good about yourself!

    • LOL round sure is a shape, I’ve got lots of that going on right now! Drive through, eh? What did you get?! Yeah, that grease smell won’t let you forget your sin, LOl. So sad. But hey, everyone deserves to eat like crap every now and then. If I could, I would crush some Chic-fil-a waffle fries, those are heaven sent. Thankfully, they fry things with the fries that I’m allergic to so I can’t even be tempted. Otherwise I’d probably eat them every day! Sometimes food allergies are helpful like that.

      I’m excited to be back on the workout wagon, it feels so much better than coming home and getting in bed by 6:30pm. I think my body operates a lot better when I’m exercising, WAY more energy. Hope things are going well for you! LOVE your haircut by the way!

      • Oh yeah, drive through, I got chicken strips and curly fries! Normally I don’t even LIKE chicken! Believe it or not I have never had Chic-fil-A waffle fries. Probably a good thing as fries are one of my hugest weaknesses and I’m sure I would try to eat them all the time!

        For sure on the whole energy thing. I have to keep that in mind as well for myself, that even if I am feeling “too tired to work out”, I will feel more energized after! And thanks for the compliment on my hair cut 🙂

        • Yeaahhhh but exercising is also the devil when your skin is bad, so it’s def a double edged sword as we both know! It sucks because I feel like working out helps the skin, but the sweat hurts it!

  3. Go for it girl-
    I have also created a blog specially for a 6 months transformation program. I wanted to share thoughts and stuff and also to be held accountable. I have to say it is helping a lot, and I do enjoy the meditative and detoxing part of the program, may be you should try to include these two too. Gud Luck!

    • Oh awesome, what kind of transformation? What’s your blog address, I can’t get to it from your gravatar picture 🙂 It definitely helps to stay on track when other people are in on the process. I’m glad it’s working for you!! I’m into meditating for sure, I like that idea.

  4. LOL wow, 6 lbs since the wedding! That’s something! I hear you on small weight gains showing a lot on smaller frames. I’m 4’11” and like, 2 lbs is a different pant size for me. Good job on getting to the gym at 5am!

  5. Go you. 5am!

    I used to track my food and exercise at Spark.com … is the one you use free?

    (By the way…8 ice cream sandwiches?? omg. ok… time for some aerobic AND wt training young lady! *smiles*)

    • spark.com, haven’t heard of that! I use loseit.com and really love it! You can scan food barcodes with your smart phone and everything! And yep, it’s free!

      YES 8!!!! SEE WHY I NEEDED AN INTERVENTION!?!? I sat on the couch and thought “oh my gosh, I actually have a problem. I need help.” LOL. Thankfully I’m able to help myself at this point…

      And don’t worry, I’ve got kickboxing tomorrow already scheduled! 😉

      • Kickboxing? Wow…I bet that is a good work out nod nods. Take a video and leave it for your new hubby to see…so he knows not to anger you *smirkles*

        And … you sanitized the title of this blog!

        • It was amazing, one of my favorite workouts!! Yep, I can throw a mean right hook and roundhouse kick, he better watch out!

          And yes I did LOL. I don’t really have a problem with cursing out in “real life” but online I’m not a huge fan, even if the word is “bleeped out.” I liked the title, but I kept cringing when looking at it. There are certain words I’m fine with online if necessary (bitch, ass, etc…) but others I just don’t like to use. So I just had to change it to stop thinking about it 😀

          • *smiles* … I have done that a couple times with a title. Not because of the swearing…but because I misspelled or thought another word worked better. So I totally understand.

            I actually love going to the gym by the way….I need to get back though. I slacked off because of my back this past fall and winter. Ack!

              • I started off like most I think…cardio mostly. The elliptical machine and the stair climber. But I also started to take the classes they offered there (since they come with the gym membership) … a zumba class now and again, but I also really got into Boot Camp class before my back went wonky on me. I also did a personal trainer for a while … and he showed me a lot on exercises and how to use all the torture weight machines.

                But … I have not been to the gym but a couple times since I had surgery on my back … though I have started taking up biking a lot nod nods.

                So how is the running/kick boxing/other exercises going?

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