A problem I don’t typically suffer from is self esteem. I am often extremely proud of myself for doing completely normal and often necessary adult things like getting a pap smear, getting my oil changed, or vacuuming my house. I don’t think there is anything wrong with treating yourself to a new shiny electronic gadget or a giant bowl of frozen yogurt because you are taking care of day to day business and are a functioning member of society.
I’d have to say my mom is the one to blame for the “good girls” and pats on the back I like to give myself. She has always been incredibly encouraging to my sisters and I and would constantly praise us for accomplishments, even small ones like getting a “D” on a math test because hey, I didn’t fail it! Just the other day my sister and I were laughing about how we would sometimes call her from college and be upset because we slept through class again. Most parents would start lecturing about the importance of making straight A’s, attending class, and taking notes. Our mom would say “oh good, you probably needed to catch up on the sleep!” She was right, and her non-lecture and “your grades and life are in your hands” style of parenting turned us into self-motivated, responsible kids.
She’s the perfect type of mom-cheerleader though, she doesn’t over do it. Some moms I know are disgustingly overbearing and interject themselves into every aspect of their children’s lives. I can’t stand it when a kid falls down and the mom gazelles over to him, arms flailing and mouth gaping, as if he has just been hit by a semi-truck. He’s fine, mommy’s scary movements and wild animal screeches are probably the reason he is crying.
Mommy dearest doesn’t mess around
My mom was not that sort of mom. After four kids, you kind of get used to bumps and bruises I guess. In fact, my dad often quoted Monty Python to us and said “it’s just a flesh wound, you’re fine.” Once I accidentally rubbed my eyes after putting Icy Hot on my legs. I immediately started screaming/crying/snarling and ran downstairs to get some sympathy and help from my mom. At first she was alarmed due to my hysterics, but when I told her what happened she began laughing so hard she could barely talk. Her tears from laughing may have actually outnumbered my tears of pain and humiliation. She finally managed to mumble “you rubbed your eyes with icy hot on your hands, are you stupid?!”
Yes, yes I was. And you know what? I’m thankful to have had a mom like her who didn’t coddle me and say “poor baby, how could this type of tragedy happen to such a perfect little angel?!” She taught me the importance of being able to laugh at myself. And the importance of not being stupid. Don’t get me wrong, she was and IS a fantastic soother, sympathizer, and healer. She is pretty freakin’ awesome.
A throwback, before the littlest pup was born. I like this pic because it’s proof we were sometimes behaving for our poor mom!
Today I am giving my self a “goooooood girl pat on the back” because I took it upon myself to take my car to the shop and get my 30,000 mileage (holy cow so expensive, Merry Christmas to me!) maintenance work done. In the 2 years that I have owned my car, I have never missed an oil change or a service tuneup. This is a lot coming from a girl who drove her dad’s car until it literally just stopped running one day because there was not ONE DROP of oil in it. Whoops.
I know that getting my car serviced is really not some big accomplishment or anything to praise myself for, but I do feel proud. I work two jobs to be able to afford the surprise medical bills I received this month, the several hundred dollar car servicing, and Christmas presents for my loved ones. Sometimes, you have to take a step back and congratulate yourself on the small things to keep you trucking through the big ones.
The Other Courtney 
Excuse me, time to blog. Sorry I was missing a whole word! haa
Holy wow! Where do you find to blog as often as you do, as well as work two jobs?! And I think it’s great that you praise yourself for everything, even the small accomplishments. We’re usually our own worst critics, not our best cheerleaders. I’ll be using this! 😀
Well I usually have about 4 posts always pending in my drafts and I just work on them when I have a free minute, whichever one I’m in the mood for 🙂 Lunch breaks, waiting for the doctor, after work, etc. Writing really feels like therapy to me, it’s such a release and a good way for me to wind down so I’ll sometimes write a bit after I get home from my second job before passing out.
Yep you’re right, we tend to be our harshest critics. I’m still hard on myself but I try to congratulate myself for the small stuff often 😀
Beautiful post, Courtney. Your mom is the most giving, selfless person I know. This picture captures just one example: Note she is holding a fork or spoon, and you all appear to be sharing something (probably ice cream or yogurt :). With four little girls, she rarely got to enjoy a meal or dessert without a “helper.” 🙂 Yet she always had a smile and willingly shared everything she had.
Thanks Pops. Yep, the poor thing has probably never eaten a full meal, even to this day! She’s an amazing woman!
I think getting a pap smear is a great reason to celebrate, and eat frozen yogurt, and a cookie… and cheesecake, for goodness sake!
Your mom sounds fantastic and I really love that approach to parenting. Right now DH and I are trying to find the proper balance of strong love, tough love, kind love, and sensitive love with the hopes that we can raise confident, respectful, motivated young men! Maybe your mom should write a book… and send it my way when she’s done!
True, I think all of us women deserve presents for pap smears!
My mom is truly a wonder, I don’t know how she does what she does. I am not a parent yet, but I feel so lucky to have such great parents to look up to and ask for parenting advice someday. It’s funny you say that about the book, I have actually been talking to her about doing a guest blog/interview type thing here on my blog! She’s hysterical and has a lot of good parenting insight so I’ll hopefully be posting something on that next week.
My mom always says that the book that changed how her and my dad ran our household was “Parenting with Love and Logic.” Have you heard of it?
http://www.loveandlogic.com/ecom/p-134-parenting-with-love-and-logic-book.aspx
I noticed a significant change in my relationship with my parents after they adapted the principles of that book, in a very good way!
I’m sure you and your husband are raising wonderful, respectful men. The world needs more of them so I’m happy they have you as a parent! 🙂
She certainly is an amazing woman!! I mean, she is my favorite mom anyways 🙂
Haha I won’t tell the other mom you said so 😉
Absolutely! I congratulate myself for dealing with banalities all the time.
Awesome!
Your mom really is one of the most amazing human beings! It blows my mind a little bit how selfless that woman is. She is so caring, loving, and helpful…yet she never feels overbearing. She is definitely someone I look up to and aspire to be like.
I couldn’t agree with you more, she is simply amazing. So blessed to have her as a mom!
If you were able to eat a cookie I would give you one! How about a kit kat instead? OR a crocpot full of lime chicken! 🙂
Haha THANKS! Kit Kats or Oreos, either will work just fine 🙂