Yesterday I learned a valuable lesson: if you have had a stomach bug for a week and it is still in the stages of don’t-venture-further-than-10-feet-from-a-restroom, do not go mountain biking.
But it was my only day off of work with Isaac, so I figured what the heck? I thought that I would feel better once I felt the wind in my face and was completely surrounded by nature. I’m not sure what part of me thought that my weak stomach and already aching head would enjoy an intense ride through a root-covered forest, but she needs to be punished. About 3 miles into the ride, Isaac stopped his bike, turned around and said, “I have never seen someone look so sad riding a bike.” In fact, up until that point the only smiling I had done was when I had accidentally bumped into Isaac’s bike while we were stopped and the seat rammed him up the rear. He yelped and winced in pain, and I laughed. I’m the worst.
My unhappiness level reached a new high (or low?) after about 45 minutes into the ride. My bike kept skidding out due to slick leaves, branches were getting stuck in my wheels, my out of shape asthmatic lungs burnt like crazy, I felt like I was going to vomit and/or soil my pants, and the realization that we were still an hour from our car made me want to cry. So I did.
For a solid ten minutes, it was the saddest, most ridiculous, pathetic sight you have ever seen. A girl riding through a beautiful forest next to a breathtaking lake, sobbing her eyes out. One of my least favorite feelings in the world is feeling stuck, whether it is emotionally stuck or physically stuck somewhere. Here I was in the middle of the forest completely stuck with my nauseous, miserable self. The only way out was to continue the ride that was making me writhe in agony.
I came around a corner to find Isaac waiting for me (he never gets too far ahead) who took one look at my face and said “are you crying??!!?” This only made me sob harder, mostly because of embarrassment, and I told him I wanted to be done with this whole biking adventure immediately. It was only another 15 minutes or so of actual mountain biking until we found a place we could hop off the trail to ride to the car.
Three hours later I was showered and happily sprawled out next to the fire in our cozy living room. To my surprise, I was already able to laugh about what had happened on the trail earlier. I thought that it would be a few weeks until I found the whole situation humorous. In fact, remembering the faces of the other mountain bikers I had passed while sobbing my eyes out made me laugh really hard. I’m sure they were wondering what the hell had happened to me. Who cries while mountain biking?!
I asked Isaac “if that had been our first date, would there have been a second one?”
“Definitely not” he said, laughing hard into the steak he was preparing for dinner.
“What if it had been our third date? Would you have gone on a fourth with me?” I questioned.
“No” he said, not even to pausing to think.
I played this game with him for a few minutes and we both came to the conclusion that it was a good thing my teary-eyed bike ride happened after 5 years together and we are set to be married in 3 months. Otherwise, this may have been a deal breaker.
18 thoughts on “The Saddest Girl to Ever Ride a Bike”
Ugh! I have the stomach bug now. I was starting to feel better until I read your post. I am not even sure I want to get up to take a shower. My most adventurous thought today was to go to Walmart to look for extension cords for the Christmas lights. I would never even begin to ponder riding a bike through the mountains today.
But I have had many crying breakdowns. My husband seems more tolerant of them than your’s.
Booo I’m sorry you’ve got it too! It seems like everyone I know recently had it or is dealing with it now! I hope you get to feeling better soon!
And no worries, my man is a pro at dealing with crying breakdowns. He has this amazing ability to make me laugh, even on the seemingly worst day of my life. However a chick having a crying breakdown on the first, second, even tenth date? That screams red flag haha! I can’t imagine taking a girl on a mountain biking date and her crying through half of it. I wouldn’t even go on a second date with myself! 😀
Hahaha, love the conversation about whether your fiance would have gone on a second date with you. Good for you though, because I cannot function when I am nauseated; I can just lay there and concentrate on not throwing up. LOL. Hope you feel much better soon!
Ugh I should have done that, just lay and concentrate! It’s all good though, it made me appreciate my nice, soft, STILL, comfy bed all the more when I got home haha.
So I guess the moral of the story is never go n a date with gastric issues until you are engaged to the other person? 😀
Hahahah I’d say that’s a really safe bet. It MIGHT even be safest to wait until you are married, ya know legally bound to be together. 🙂
Well, the vows do say “In Sickness and in Health”, right? 😉
That they do! Thank goodness…
Oh I know the exact feeling!! When I was an exchange student, my host parents loved to take me on these insane bike rides. And as a girl who grew up only biking around city streets and avoiding hills at all costs- it was killer! The only bright point was we always rode to a pub and grabbed a beer- so at least I had a break in between the torture!
haha oh my goodness, I would be freaked out too!! Where were you an exchange student? As crazy as it sounds, I bet it was cool to experience something outside your comfort zone. And the beer always helps too!
Haha, oh no!! Good for you for going though!
haha thanks, it’ll definitely be a story we will always remember 🙂
Awe, very cute. My favorite part: your discussion about whether he would have asked you out for consecutive dates.
Admittedly, for a significant part of your post, I was lamenting the fact that (a) you are mountain biking and I am (should be) studying, and (b) that the weather is beautiful enough for you to be enjoying the outdoors. You do not waht to see what outside looks like here!
Anyway, I hope you’re feeling better soon!
Yep, thanks to the bizarre weather of North Carolina, we were able to mountain bike in t-shirts! We kept saying “is this really December 1??” A week ago it was in the low 30’s and yesterday it was in the 60’s. Crazy, but I’ll take it! Sorry your weather is so nasty, where are you?
I live in Canada… our weather is just plain nasty from about Nov – Mar. Today isn’t too bad: -12C, which I think is about 10F. A few days ago, however, we were below -20C, or -5F… something like that. Either way, even on a good day here, there will be no bike riding!
-5 degrees? OH no thank you. Even on our WORST day, it is much warmer than that. Yikes!! You need to get out of there! hahah. Feel free to live vicariously through my mountain biking in t-shirts in December stories 😉
Well I’m certainly glad you wrote this up because it made me laugh. I’m still chuckling as I write this comment, in fact. I actually just went mountain biking for the first time, and I cried. And screamed. And just wanted to go home. But it was fun to laugh at myself on the way home, and I am still wanting to go again. So, I can understand why you wanted to give it a go even though you weren’t fully recovered. It has a way of drawing you in.
I hope you get over the stomach bug ASAP so you can do a re-ride 🙂
I’m glad you find humor in it too! I’m sorry your first mountain biking experience wasn’t great, but kudos to you for even trying it! It is definitely an addicting sport and is really fun, as long as you don’t have a stomach bug haha.
I’m hoping to redeem myself on the trails soon 🙂