What Seeing The Movie “Her” With Your Dad Is Like

Oh, interesting. The main character works as a professional letter writer. People of the future don’t write their own letters to loved ones, they hire people to do it for them. I can actually see this happening in the not-so-distant future. Interesting concept.

984065Soundtrack is good, character development is good, plot is interesting, so far so good. Dad and I approve.

thumbsMain character calls sex hotline to chat with another lonely person. Hoping & praying we don’t actually hear the phone sex exchange

crossingfingers_zpse97a454aWe do

embarassed-for-youBut it’s okay! Because we are both adults, and we can sit through a sex scene together at the movie theater. No problem.

209_the-rock-smilingBecause, like, I have definitely never had sex before and I don’t really know what sex is, so it’s cool, right dad?? I’m still your little girl. This isn’t weird at all, like…what is sex even? I don’t know what that word is. It’s fine.

Ariana-Grande-Saying-to-Dont-Know-Funny-gif-pictureIt gets really hot and heavy. The girl talks about his manly man parts, and what she’ll do with them

sad-to-OMGIt just keeps going and going. I refuse to move a muscle or make eye contact with dad. It has to end soon, right?

lady-gaga-stareFull frontal naked pregnant lady appears, apparently it’s one of the fantasies of the main character

tumblr_mkarw9qsq21r4rnkdo1_500It’s over, phew. We’re out of the woods, we made it through the raunchy part of the movie. Now onto more plot development!

The-Reaction-Of-Relief-GifJust kidding, that was only a warmup to the 3 minute long sex scene getting ready to happen

1439The screen goes black and for three solid minutes we hear moaning and screaming blasting through the theater at 100 decibles

feelsExcept this time, he’s not having phone sex with an actual person. It’s with his phone’s operating system (picture a very advanced, futuristic Siri)

tumblr_inline_mity9zDlE01qz4rgpHis OS says, “I want you inside me”

giphyI start laughing uncontrollably because I don’t know what else to do

17It’s not ending. I want to die

killselfOkay, it’s finally ending. The moaning is getting less and less loud and the computer is almost done climaxing.

wtf.

tumblr_ma64bbhFO61qjnr66I finally gain the courage to look my dad in the eye and whisper

i+just+can't+do+this+anymoreYeah, some other non-sexual things happened in the movie, it wasn’t all ear porn, but I was too traumatized to focus. Overall, the script was cheesy and boring, in my opinion

tumblr_inline_n050paiZ3c1rnxysgIt was supposed to be a cute & quirky romcom

KduXzkzWe both agree to ditch the creepily-pornogrpahic-without-actually-showing-naked-people movie and get our money back

giphy-1And I silently swear that going forward, I’ll only watch movies with my dad if they are made by Disney

largeBecause neither of us deserves to experience anything like that. Ever. Again.

Crying-gifs-10112013-13

Advertisements

26 thoughts on “What Seeing The Movie “Her” With Your Dad Is Like

  1. Ugh, I watched it with BOTH my parents on dvd…. It was completely mortifying! I don’t think we could all look at each other for the rest of the movie. Never again will we choose a film like that without full vetting ahead of time 0.0

  2. Hilarious!!! This was one of the most unique reviews I’ve read about this movies and the animated GIFs made it all the more funny! Yikes, seeing THIS movie with your dad. Awkward… Yeah, when my daughter grows up, no such movies for us. We’ll stick to action/sci-fi/animated movies – FOREVER!

    Glad you got your money back. Seeing the commercials for this flick never appealed to me. Nominated for an Oscar, what where they thinking?

  3. Ah, damn. I wish I didn’t read this before going to see the actual movie… however, it was worth it. I just stumbled upon your blog, and your posts are fantastic from what I’ve read so far. They could get worse, I don’t know, but I’m crossing my fingers.

    (I’m sure the rest are just as good.)

    Have a great weekend.

  4. Your review was sooo well written! I felt that I was right there with you, squirming! I don’t know how you are so pithy, but you have a real talent, Courtney. The additional photos and comments below about “full frontal pregnant” with a nun face was priceless.LOL. I think the fact that you and your Dad walked out and were re-funded is very brave and the right thing to do. Keep writing…you have a gift!~

    • Thanks, Paula!! Ugh it was so painful, and yes I’m very glad we walked out. Char and Katy were there too and we were all dying laughing.

      And thank you so much for the compliment!! 🙂

  5. I’m impressed that you stuck it out as long as you did!! I’ve stopped even trying to watch Sister Wives with my dad since he started to ask if the husband “is having relations” with all of his wives and I flat out refused to answer.

    • Hahahha yeah, no talk of “relations” is comfortable with dad. I do LOVE that show though, I need to catch up on the more recent seasons! What a freaky and fascinating family, I actually gained a lot of respect watching. They seem to make it work for them…

      • This season has definitely had its share of drama!! I’m a live and let live kind of person, so if anything, I’m mesmerized by all of the people they fit into their family dynamic, and that everything doesn’t turn into dramatic chaos more often than it does.

    • Ding Ding Ding, you’re exactly right! I did enjoy the first 20 minutes, we all did, then it was horrible.

      We ended up going home and reading the movie rundown and spoilers, and were VERY happy we left when we did. It sounded like it only got more ridiculous and cliche. Phew, dodged that bullet.

      Glad you didn’t waste your time or money on it!

      • By the way, my wife and I were newly married and we went to my parents house for our first Christmas and we decided to watch 16 Candles, since you know it was PG and such and had totally forgotten that there was a shower scene and my dad walked in right as it came on and he was like, “What are you watching!” Not near as long and drawn out like yours, but totally embarassing for both me and my wife.

  6. My love for gif-fest blog posts is endless. Someday I’ll do one myself!

    And girl, I FEEL you. I watched Wanderlust with my in-laws, thought it would be about a hippie commune. And it is, but it’s also about a lot of sex and Jennifer A.’s bare chest. So. Yeeaahhh….

    • I love them too! Thought it was about time I make one, it finally felt right. haha 😉

      UGH sex scenes with the in-laws, NOT GOOD! And it’s so awkward how everyone is too scared to look away from the TV, but horrified to still be watching too. It’s just not good.

    • Depends on the reason you are trying to get a refund/voucher tickets and how far into the movie you leave, probably 🙂 We left before halfway into the movie. The manager didn’t hesitate to give our money back though when my dad told him he went to see this movie with his three daughters, haha! He said “ohhhhh no.”

    • Very good idea!! May as well spare yourself some humiliation. Netflix is great for movies that I’m feeling already iffy/wtif-ish about. This def goes into that category haha

  7. Me: “Hey, Natalie (my 14 Y-O daughter). Remember how we talked about going to see the movie ‘Her’?”

    Natalie: “Yeah!”

    Me: “We’re going to see ‘The Lego Movie’ instead.”

    Natalie: “But why?”

    Me: “Don’t ask.”

    • hahahahahah, thank God this post wasn’t too late!! I know you guys would have walked out too. Ugh, so much discomfort, so much misery. I was thankful the theater was dark so at least nobody could see my dark red face. Lego movie, solid choice. Nothing but animation from now on!

  8. Edwin, yes we did talk about it right afterward…of course Courtney confided that she didn’t know what was going on and had no understanding of the word “sex.” Dad is safely back in his “denial” mode! 🙂

  9. LOL

    I can’t believe my sister would recommend this movie to me. One of my closest friends also said I should watch it, but thanks so much for this.. that’s just too awkward for me. Did you two talk about it at all since?

    • Hahah it was SO bizarre. It is definitely one to watch alone, if at all. Who knows, maybe the story did get better and made the weird computer/human sex scenes worth it, but I didn’t stay long enough to find out.

      We just talked about how awkward it was!! My dad and I have a good relationship so we were definitely able to find humor in the whole thing, and not be too horrified afterwards. We both just knew we needed to get out of that theater, lol.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s