Isaac: Can you put the potatoes in the oven in a few minutes while I’m outside grilling the steaks? I’m going to need some help this time

Me: This time?! You’re implying that I never help, that’s mean!

Isaac: Well you always say you’re going to and then you forget

Me: This is the worst date ever

Isaac: This isn’t a date, this is our life

Me: okay so what should I do?

Isaac: Put the potatoes in and then three minutes later put the veggies in the microwave

Me: So…90 seconds after the potatoes are in, put the veggies in?

Isaac: No

Me: 240 seconds

Isaac: No

Me: 180 seconds

Isaac: Yes. And this is why you always forget. You go Google how many seconds are in three minutes and then start Googling other random questions that pop into your head and you don’t cook the potatoes or the veggies and then when the steaks are done I come inside and cook everything that you were supposed to be doing that whole time

He’s right. I’m the worst wife ever.