“When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for.”
The first time I heard this quote, I fell in love with it. As a person who can sometimes be very indecisive and have anxiety about a decision I am faced with, this quote brings me a lot of clarity and peace. It’s completely true, and often times we are lying to ourselves when we know deep down what we really want to do, and act like we don’t. The answer is there if you just listen to yourself.
A few years ago, I was living in Tampa and Isaac was in North Carolina. We had been long distance for close to a year and as my apartment lease end date was creeping closer, I was conflicted about where I should move. On the one hand, I loved living by my family. I hadn’t lived by them for several years and it was so wonderful to see my parents and sisters several times a week. On the other hand, I hated Tampa. I never felt like I belonged or fit in with the culture there. Isaac and I had talked about me moving to North Carolina but I was scared. I didn’t know anybody in his hometown and I didn’t know what our future together held. I kept thinking “what if I move there and hate it and start resenting Isaac.”
My friends tried to offer advice whenever possible and sometimes it helped, but one day a coworker blew my mind. Maybe she was just tired of hearing me talk about the pros and cons of each choice, but her simple statement and question put an instant end to my wavering and worry.
You already know what you’re going to do. You sit here and pretend like there is this big decision in front of you, but deep down you’ve already made up your mind about it. You are just scared so you are going back and forth between the choices, but you already know. So what is it? What are you going to do, stay here or move to North Carolina?
I stared at her with my mouth gaping and thought “how dare she be so blunt and not offer to make a pros and cons list with me for the 20th time!” But then it hit me: she was 100% right. It’s like the little anxiety elves who live in my brain suddenly disappeared and I said “I’m moving to North Carolina!”
And I did.
And I have never loved a city, a state, or a home as much as I love this one.
Choices are only as hard as you make them out to be. Stop stressing, make your choice, love it or leave it.