Flip A Coin

“When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for.”

The first time I heard this quote, I fell in love with it. As a person who can sometimes be very indecisive and have anxiety about a decision I am faced with, this quote brings me a lot of clarity and peace. It’s completely true, and often times we are lying to ourselves when we know deep down what we really want to do, and act like we don’t. The answer is there if you just listen to yourself.

A few years ago, I was living in Tampa and Isaac was in North Carolina. We had been long distance for close to a year and as my apartment lease end date was creeping closer, I was conflicted about where I should move. On the one hand, I loved living by my family. I hadn’t lived by them for several years and it was so wonderful to see my parents and sisters several times a week. On the other hand, I hated Tampa. I never felt like I belonged or fit in with the culture there. Isaac and I had talked about me moving to North Carolina but I was scared. I didn’t know anybody in his hometown and I didn’t know what our future together held. I kept thinking “what if I move there and hate it and start resenting Isaac.”

My friends tried to offer advice whenever possible and sometimes it helped, but one day a coworker blew my mind. Maybe she was just tired of hearing me talk about the pros and cons of each choice, but her simple statement and question put an instant end to my wavering and worry.

You already know what you’re going to do. You sit here and pretend like there is this big decision in front of you, but deep down you’ve already made up your mind about it. You are just scared so you are going back and forth between the choices, but you already know. So what is it? What are you going to do, stay here or move to North Carolina?

I stared at her with my mouth gaping and thought “how dare she be so blunt and not offer to make a pros and cons list with me for the 20th time!” But then it hit me: she was 100% right. It’s like the little anxiety elves who live in my brain suddenly disappeared and I said “I’m moving to North Carolina!”

And I did.

And I have never loved a city, a state, or a home as much as I love this one.

Choices are only as hard as you make them out to be. Stop stressing, make your choice, love it or leave it.

foresttrees fence katy


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18 thoughts on “Flip A Coin

  1. Pingback: 2013 In Pictures | The Other Courtney

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  3. I’ve never heard that quote before, but I love it! What you wrote makes so much sense, and has given me some insight into my current situation with a big decision. Thank you for sharing this! 🙂

  4. This post really struck a chord with me – I had never heard that quote and I love it! I’m VERY indecisive as well – to the point where I am absolutely no fun to shop with, as I have to debate my various purchases, put some stuff back, find some new stuff, etc etc. Let alone huge decisions like moving!!

    But related to that, I have wanted to move to North Carolina for YEARS and I feel constantly in my heart that I have a legitimate need to get out of my cold depressing Midwest state. I have never even BEEN there (LOL) but it’s like a nagging thing that keeps coming up in my head – that for some reason I don’t belong in my current state, and I can’t shake it. I am constantly talking about it with my husband but he is not so sure about such a decision. Anyway I am glad to hear that you love it and that you clearly made the right decision! If we ever get to the point to decide on moving, I’ll heed the wise advice and commit to a choice and hopefully love it!

    • @EczemaExcellence: I’ve always felt that way too, that I don’t really belong in the state where I live. I’ve been wanting to move to another state FOREVER, and my boyfriend and I have been in the process of planning out such a big move for the past year. I would rather just DO it and not ever wonder “what if I had done that?” but it’s still very scary and a huge decision.

      And Courtney — thanks for posting this right now! I’ve read this quote too and it’s so true. And you’re lucky to have a friend who put it so bluntly for you. Have you heard that quote that goes something like “Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.”? I feel the same way about pros and cons lists. Don’t get me wrong — I love list making, including pros and cons lists — but they definitely make me FEEL like I’m getting something done and being proactive, when in reality, I’m just over-analyzing and worrying!

      • Oh yes I love love that rocking chair quote too! I’m glad you reminded me of it, I tend to sit on the rocking chair a lot haha. Funny how you don’t feel right in your state either, where does your heart want to take you!? 🙂

        • Oh, everywhere! For a long time, it was Florida. Now it’s between New Orleans and Boulder…. but I’m leaning more toward Colorado 🙂

    • Hahah I can be the same way with shopping! I drive myself crazy and just have to take a step back and simply say “do I want this or not YES OR NO?!”

      Funny you are drawn to NC too, what parts are you interested in? There are so many awesome, different cities here. I absolutely know the feeling of not belonging in your current state, it sounds crazy when you try to describe it to people but it is definitely real! Even when I go back and visit VA and FL, it doesn’t feel right. It’s fun to visit, but as soon as I get back to NC it’s like I can breathe easier, like I’m home. Have you ever lived on the east coast?

      • Courtney – I don’t even know what specific cities as I’ve never actually been there, but I hear great things about Asheville and Chapel Hill. (Maybe you can give me some tips on other great NC cities). I have lived in the same Midwestern state (Michigan to be specific) all my life, so no, I have never lived on the east coast. Maybe I am crazy but I also feel that living in a more temperate state would improve my eczema – it ALWAYS gets worse in the winter, probably aggravated from the cold dry air and then the hot dry air inside. So perhaps less winter = less eczema, lol.

        @ Amanda – What state/area are you interested in moving to, out of curiosity?

      • Asheville is amazing, it’s a hippie/artsy mountain town with amazing views, food, and culture. I love visiting, but prob wouldn’t want to live there myself. And Chapel Hill is awesome too! My fiance went to UNC so he lived in Chapel Hill for four years and only had good things to say about it. The music/arts scene is pretty good there too. It IS a college town though, so I think things can probably get a little rowdy. I actually have family in Chapel Hill area too and they just love it.

        You’re not crazy, being in a more temperate state does definitely help. The winters are really rough for me even though it doesn’t get TOO cold here, and every time the seasons change my skin freaks out haha! But I think it is a hell of a lot better than living somewhere that is a lot colder for longer periods of time. I feel like my skin would just hate me.

        I’m gonna send you an email later with some good NC cities to look into!

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