Actual thought I had today: Since I was on vacation last week, I haven’t been to Chipotle in almost two weeks. They are going to wonder where I’ve been. I wonder if they are worried? I packed a lunch for work today but maybe I should just stop by to let them know I’m okay.
I mean, really? This confirms my suspicions that 1. I still have a serious Chipotle addiction. Not eating there my standard 4 days a week has spun me into a pretty serious withdrawal. I need to get some cilantro lime rice and pico de gallo into my body STAT. 2. My unconscious mind believes that I am in fact the center of the universe and whenever I am not present, people will suffer.
After realizing the absurdity of my aforementioned thought, I burst out laughing, alone, in my office at work. So now you can add the title “crazy girl who talks to herself and laughs alone” to my already self-proclaimed “narcissist” label.
This got me to thinking about egocentrism, or just egoism in general. Don’t we all suffer from it in one way or another (some of us more than others)? For example, when I am eating a Chipotle Burrito Bowl, I truly believe in my heart that the burrito bowl tastes better to me than it would to anybody else. I am the only person who is capable of enjoying the burrito bowl that much. As far as relationships go, I think that I am the happiest and luckiest woman in the world. There is no other couple that is happier than Isaac and I. No other couple has as much fun as we do. [Err, that may actually be true. We are pretty much in laughing hysterics from the time we wake up in the morning till the time we fall asleep at night.] When I hear a certain meaningful song on the radio, I feel that nobody could possibly understand the feelings it evokes, the heartstrings it pulls.
Now, I’m sane enough to recognize egocentrism when I see it, however I’m not convinced it’s a bad thing. Isn’t it good that I feel so blessed and able to enjoy life to the absolute max? I don’t envy other people’s lives often because I feel like mine is the bomb diggity 99% of the time! There is a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance, so maybe what I am trying to describe is not egotistical of me. Maybe it is whatever lays on the other side of that fine line. I’d like to think so.
Imagine if everybody felt like what they were experiencing was simply the best it could be, better than the rest. We would all either be extremely happy or the most conceited society to ever exist. I do think some people have a negative egoism–they believe what they are going through is the worst thing in the world, nobody has ever suffered as much as they have. Those people are completely miserable to be around 100% of the time.
Until I am given a reason to think otherwise, I am going to continue believing that my sky is bluer, my life is funnier, and my ice cream tastes better than yours.