Perfect Fellowship

Yesterday my sister, Charlotte, sent me this devotional she had and I thought it was so great I wanted to share part of  it!

It is not necessary to be always speaking to God or always hearing from God, to have communion with Him; there is an inarticulate fellowship more sweet than words. The little child can sit all day long beside its busy mother and, although few words are spoken on either side, and both are busy, the one at his absorbing play, the other at her engrossing work, yet both are in perfect fellowship. He knows that she is there, and she knows that he is all right. So the saint and the Saviour can go on for hours in the silent fellowship of love, and he be busy about the most common things, and yet conscious that every little thing he does is touched with the complexion of His presence, and the sense of His approval and blessing.

And then, when pressed with burdens and troubles too complicated to put into words and too mysterious to tell or understand, how sweet it is to fall back into His blessed arms, and just sob out the sorrow that we cannot speak!

What a beautiful piece this is, it really makes sense to me. I am one of those people that thrives when another body is in the room with me. I very rarely like to be alone. I don’t necessarily want to be talking to that person, I just like to have them there. Quality time with Isaac is often each of us laying on a couch reading or just doing our own thing. Being in  the same room just feels good. I love to think about a relationship with God in that way. To be a part of each others lives you don’t have to constantly be praying saying “Dear Jesus, yadda yadda yadda”, but  just be present with Him. THAT is an intimate and personal relationship. Some might interpret this as being lazy in your relationship with God, but I see it as really treating Him like a father. Like a loved one so dear that you feel their presence even when you are not directly speaking to them. Obviously you still need to make time for actual prayer and worship, but this is describing a way of life. I feel I cannot really say anything else about this because the devotional did such an amazing job of conveying the message!

This message makes me feel a little sad for the certain Catholics that believe they cannot have a personal relationship with God; they believe they must go through a priest. This devotional would probably seem absurd to them! I wonder what would happen if they decided to have their OWN relationship with God. I’m sure they would feel so much more at ease and comforted.

The last line of the devotion meant a lot to me. And then, when pressed with burdens and troubles too complicated to put into words and too mysterious to tell or understand, how sweet it is to fall back into His blessed arms, and just sob out the sorrow that we cannot speak! I have experienced this twice in my life that I can recall, and the peace God gave me was immediate and unmistakable. The first time was my freshman year of high school. My eczema was so bad I couldn’t even wear clothes. I was in pain from my head to my toes, literally. I had missed weeks and weeks of school and would be up all night crying, scratching, and bleeding. One night I remember laying in bed at 3am and sobbing my eyes out. I felt so abandoned and disgusting. I prayed to God to please give me one night of rest, one night where I could not feel so depressed and tear at my skin. ONE night to not hate my own existence. I don’t even remember finishing my prayer. I woke up the next afternoon and could not remember the last time I had slept so deep for so many hours. I once again prayed to thank God for his immediate response. We don’t often receive immediate answers to prayer. What an amazing feeling!

The most recent time I was broken and gave it to God was when I was crying/praying the night my cousin Tim passed away. I sat in Isaac’s arms sobbing and trembling nonstop. Isaac and I prayed for my aunt and her two sons, the brothers of  Tim. I prayed that God would give them strength because if I was hurting this bad, I could not imagine their pain. By the end of my prayer I was shaking and crying so hard I could barely breathe, and speaking was almost out of the question. I prayed for God to help me, to find some way to comfort me. Immediately after finishing our prayer, my trembling stopped and I felt a wave of calm. Of course I was still heartbroken and devastated, but the tears stopped and Isaac and I stayed up for several more hours sharing childhood stories. I even managed to laugh at several of the stories we were telling each other, most of them had never been remembered or shared before. Just like before, I don’t remember trying to go to sleep that night. I remember waking up the next morning and thinking “Okay, I can do this!”

For those that haven’t experienced God’s comfort in hard times, it is something that cannot be fully explained or conveyed. It is how people get through impossible times. He truly does not desert us.

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