For the past week my brain has been completely consumed with thoughts of my cousin Tim. I have been nonstop praying for everyone that knew Tim, and loved him dearly. As my mom said yesterday “sometimes prayer is all you’ve got.” So true.
The past Easter weekend spent with family at Tim’s wake/funeral was one of the hardest weekends of my life. Actually I feel pretty confident in saying it was the hardest weekend of my life, so far. Thank God for a huge and compassionate family to help each other through this tough time.
Today I woke up, got dressed for work, and headed out the door only to realize that it is the first time since I learned of Tim’s death that I felt remotely like myself. Realizing this only made me sadder. Life does go on, it has to. Reminds me of the lyrics from one of my favorite songs “The world carries on without you but nothing remains the same.” Being away from family feels weird too. I feel like I have been put back into my little bubble where it’s not real. Everything is normal and I will see all my cousins at our next gathering in July.
Tim’s mom and two brothers have been handling everything so well. I have never seen God shine through anybody so much. I guess there is just extreme comfort in knowing that we will see him again someday. I cannot wait for the day. In the meantime I am reading the book “Heaven Is For Real” given to me by my Aunt. I am only a few chapters in and already love it. I know it was an important book for Tim’s mom, who read it about a month before her son passed away. That is not a coincidence.
Tonight I feel at peace and am thankful to God for giving me that. I am praying that He is doing the same in every single one of my family members!