I Thought You Were Dead

Twenty minutes
Waiting and pacing

Tears
Worst fears

I thought you were dead

The story, it broke
in synch with my heart
News from afar, a tragic loss by far

The words jumped from the page, coiled around my neck
constricting my breathing I’m a complete wreck

Plane crash
Afghanistan
14 dead

Your company
Its name
There in bold on my screen
But in all the wrong context, it felt obscene

A failed phone call, an unanswered text
Signs one after another to prepare for what’s next
A phone call from mom, “I’m sorry, sit down”
Imagining the worst, I think I might drown

Couldn’t breathe
Couldn’t believe
Couldn’t conceive

14 dead
But not you

14 families devastated
But not ours

14 lives lost
But not yours

But, Dad?
For twenty minutes
I thought you were dead

Those heinous twenty minutes
To me
You were dead

That feeling of terror, grief, and misery
Sobbing into my hands, too short was our history

But you are okay, we now know you are safe
So why can’t I stop the tears from streaming down my face?

You are alive, for that I am thankful
For the families not so fortunate,
Tonight I am prayerful

They are getting the calls, “I’m sorry, sit down”
Your mom was a hero, your son best around
The tears won’t stop coming, my heart torn and shred
For twenty long minutes, I thought you were dead.

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8 thoughts on “I Thought You Were Dead

  1. So so sorry Cortney! I cannot imagine the pain you must of had and the on going fear you must have in your heart. Sending you the biggest a of hugs! So happy your dad is safe.

  2. So very thankful your Daddy, my brother, was spared! Praying for all those whose worst nightmare ever is a reality; one which will never end…. may God comfort them in their deep sorrow…..
    .

  3. Court I am so sorry you had to go through what I’m sure was the longest 20 minutes ever! I am so thankful that your dad is safe and I totally understand that awful feeling. Always praying for your dad to stay safe and to make the time go by quickly for you! Love you!
    -Jenn

  4. Oh Courtney
    What a heart wrenching 20 minutes. So glad your Dad is safe. So sorry about the families that are crying right now.

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