Fly Paper For Freaks

I tend to attract strange people. Not just the “that person is unique/different” strange, more of the “oh that man is probably going to follow me home and make a lampshade out of my flesh” strange. I haven’t had many stalker-situations in the past few years due to my serious relationship, but they still tend to pop up every now and then. I think I am just too nice to everybody, too trusting.

Today I headed downtown to grab some Mediterranean food on my lunch break. I was filling my drink cup when an Asian looking man came up and stood right in front of me and just smiled. I politely smiled back and studied my styrofoam cup hoping he would walk away. He didn’t. Instead he said “I like your dress!!!” in broken English. My creep-radar went down because I figured he was new to the United States and was just trying to talk to a friendly-looking American. He asked if I worked here in town and I said yes at a massage therapy school. I told him we offer $20 massages during the week so he should check it out. He asked for my business card, so I gave it to him. Then things got weird. He read my name aloud off of the card “Carny Peeetuson. Carny, I am going to come visit you. I am going to bring you coffee and food. You like coffee, right?” I said “No, I don’t actually.” Nott, as I learned was his name said “Ok then I am going to bring you tea. I AM coming to see you. where do you live?” I don’t know why I kept answering him at this point but I panicked!! I said “downtown but I am moving soon. My boyfriend and I are moving soon.” Nott did not look happy at the mention of a boyfriend. He asked where I was moving to, my address, and kept repeating the question when I didn’t answer. The conversation ended with me walking away and crossing the street hurriedly to my car. A few minutes later I drove by the restaurant and he was still sitting outside staring at my business card in his hands.

So here are the options.

  1. He really is new to the U.S. and just doesn’t understand socially acceptable conversation yet.
  2. He was simply trying to flirt and was really terrible at it.
  3. He is in fact going to come to my job, bring me food and drinks, follow me home, and turn me into a nice set of drapes for his creepy little living room.

In all seriousness (for those relatives that are worried right now), I think it’s okay. I have already alerted everyone at work, including the security guard, that if a man shows up asking for me to tell him I no longer work there, I moved to Florida.

SPEAKING of creep I found out last night my beloved neighbor, whom we’ve called the cops on several times because he likes to blare music till 5 am, is a rapist. I’m not just trying to sound dramatic, he actually raped a girl last October and she ran from the building when she finally escaped. He tied her to the bed. He is the real deal. He’s also a surgeon that has prostitutes over several times a week and does cocaine. Have I mentioned I cannot wait to get out of this apartment complex!?!? I don’t feel in danger living next to him because he hates Kevin, Isaac, and I. When I walk past him in the hallway he won’t even look at me. I guess us calling the cops on him so many times made him never want to talk to us again. Fine by me! The weirdest part of all of this is that several months ago when he started blaring music Isaac, Kevin, and I joked that he was probably cutting up bodies and killing people which is why he had to blare the music. Maybe not so far off.

So if anybody is reading this and happens to be in the business of killing people as a service to the community, I’d love to give you his information.

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4 thoughts on “Fly Paper For Freaks

  1. Ugh! I know what you mean! I attract weirdos too… one thing I’ve learned that is my problem is that I ALWAYS make eye contact with people. BIG MISTAKE… to them that means you’re interested in them, or a conversation, or whatever. BAH. I’ve tried to stop my eye contact with strangers to avoid situations like this. There’s probably a like… 95% chance this guy is just totally innocent and isn’t a real stalker/murder/rapist/etc but then again some people can put on a good act! BAH

  2. Where is Dexter when you need him! Be very careful, dear daughter. Unfortunately even those who seem “OK” can be nuts! I love you!

  3. Courtney, a surgeon who is doing cocaine is a danger to his patients and he should be reported to the state Board of Medicine.

    If he is also seeing prostitutes, he should be reported to the police, since that also is illegal.

    You should wait to do the above until after you move, however!! Love you! Mo

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