How To Not Die On Your Honeymoon

As the wheels of our plane touched down in North Carolina at the end of our honeymoon, I gave myself a mental high-five and said “you did it!!!!” I didn’t learn to surf. I didn’t learn to hula dance. I didn’t even go snorkeling in the tropical freezing cold Hawaiian waters. No, I was proud…

Interactions With the General Public

How would you like your steak cooked? Medium. Okay that will be a hot pink center. Oh no no no, I don’t like any pink or red in it. Okay, then I recommend well done. No, I don’t like it cooked well done. Cook it to medium well. That will have a slight pink center.…

The Decision to Lie

One of the reasons I enjoy my part-time waitressing gig so much is because I get to talk to strangers all night. For the most part, I truly love hearing about the lives of so many different types of people. It is amazing what you can learn about a person in between serving him tomato…

The Allergy Customer

For me, the hardest part about waitressing is the wind down after a shift. After a 15-hour workday I would love to come home, shower, and pass out immediately. My body is begging for sleep, but my brain is still scrambling for a pen, memorizing orders, fighting with chefs, and sucking up to guests. I…

A (hopefully) Persuasive Letter to Corporate Chipotle

My dream is for my wedding next year to be catered by Chipotle. This is a slight problem because Chipotle doesn’t cater. Yesterday, my crack dealer local Chipotle manager informed me about a “Chipotle Truck” that drives around Texas serving food on-the-go. The truck has been known to venture to other states at times and…