Racing Thoughts

Racing thoughts, running wildWhere could they be going?It doesn’t matter, screams the lead to the lineWe’ll know when we get there, in time Circling and charging, day after dayTo them, a gameTo me, only pain Shhhh, I whisper Unsure if I’m comforting or chastisingPlease, pull overWe need rest Sideline sitting feels taxing, tooThe engines in…

I Can Do The Same (Even During a Pandemic)

In the way that you cry when you’re tired and lonely, I am reminded that I can do the same. In the way that you allow yourself to be held, comforted, and kissed by someone who loves you, I am reminded that I can do the same. In the way that you continue to eat…

The Catch Up

PHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH That is the sound of me blowing the dust off the ol’ blog. It has been over two years since I have written here, dayum! When typing in my blog address this afternoon, I wondered if I would have to log in again or if by some miracle it would still be auto logged-in.…

Dear Worrier

Last week, Isaac and I deep cleaned our house and I found an important letter stuffed in an old desk drawer. When I received it from my therapist, Ken, two years ago, it was a lifeline when I was drowning in a sea of worry and anxiety. Finding it was a good reminder of where…

Irrational Fears

Irrational fears are something I spent a good portion of my time in therapy talking about. After a few months and several hundred dollars, my irrational fears no longer caused panic attacks and I was even able to laugh at them! Sometimes I catch myself slipping into my old way of thinking, which is to…

Letting It Out

In the 48 hours since finding out that I have a mass on my ovary, I have been surprisingly calm about it. I have tried to keep the mindset of “we don’t know anything yet, there is nothing to worry about.” This morning I woke up with chest pains, a tight throat, and a heavy…