Only

I watch new pages falling open in front of me with curiosityMy story shifting from “we can’t have more” to “we have chosen to have one” And I wonder if soon, I’ll be able to say these new, cumbersome words aloudTo the curious minds who can’t comprehendHow we could possibly chooseTo have only one I…

I’ve Let Myself Go

I’ve let myself go To bed earlier than ever beforeTo the gymOnly to sit in the parking lot with a coffeeAnd a sigh I’ve let myself go Back to workForward into a new realityBoldly into each dayEven when I’d rather stayIn bed I’ve let myself go To the park when it’s rainingTo the merry-go-round that’s…

Finding the Joy

Life is tiring right now. It’s good, but tiring. That quote that says, “The days are long, but the years are short”, when referencing child rearing, feels especially true right now. It seems so odd that we have these lives where we can do and experience so many incredible things– yet we devote most of…

Baker’s Meditation

Several months ago, I had the idea that I wanted to adapt some mindfulness and meditation practices into something that I could start teaching my two-year old, Baker. I quickly realized that I had nothing to teach her about mindfulness– she was the one teaching me about being present and aware every day. Young children…

Grieving

It has been a few months since my grandpa died. Since then, my grandma and I have shared many conversations about him, their marriage, their lives as individuals, and the grieving process. As I sat in line at the carwash a few days ago catching up with “Memow” on the phone, I asked her what…

Expanded

For Renee, Charlotte, Christina, and Katy What happens to a motherWhen the heart she grew for youSuddenly has to make room For two What happens to a motherWho once spent her daysPlayingTeachingCuddlingDancingBribingLaughingExplainingExploring Is now married to the couch, bed, or kitchen floorReally anywhere the newest and most helpless childNeeds her more What happens to a motherWho…

Formula

I had to stop breastfeeding when the baby was 5 weeks oldI say had to, but really, it was a choiceThat’s what motherhood is– choice after choice after choiceHow will I mother in this moment?How will I respond to the things that are out of my control today? I had to decided to stop breastfeeding…