What Is There Left To Say?

There were children murdered and injured at school yesterday. There were children murdered at school yesterday, once again, and we didn’t even talk about it. We went to bed, woke up, ate breakfast— business as usual on the surface. I felt hollow sending her off to school, kissing my husband goodbye. Is it on his…

In the Blink of an Eye

I don’t want anotherI just want youAll over again I’ve never felt such longingFor a past lifeGone so soon They say, In the blink of an eyeSo I cover mine–No luck Except the Unbelievable luckOf beingYour mom

Only

I watch new pages falling open in front of me with curiosityMy story shifting from “we can’t have more” to “we have chosen to have one” And I wonder if soon, I’ll be able to say these new, cumbersome words aloudTo the curious minds who can’t comprehendHow we could possibly chooseTo have only one I…

Finding the Joy

Life is tiring right now. It’s good, but tiring. That quote that says, “The days are long, but the years are short”, when referencing child rearing, feels especially true right now. It seems so odd that we have these lives where we can do and experience so many incredible things– yet we devote most of…

Expanded

For Renee, Charlotte, Christina, and Katy What happens to a motherWhen the heart she grew for youSuddenly has to make room For two What happens to a motherWho once spent her daysPlayingTeachingCuddlingDancingBribingLaughingExplainingExploring Is now married to the couch, bed, or kitchen floorReally anywhere the newest and most helpless childNeeds her more What happens to a motherWho…

Screaming for Smiles

Today I encountered a woman screaming at her children because she wanted to take a photo of them smiling in front of a lake. Her kids were grinning at each other, at passers by, up at the cloudless sky, across the gleaming water– they were smiling at everything except for their mom. In fact, they…

Vow Renewal

An excerpt from the book I’m working on- prose and essays on motherhood. The first timeA short service On a crisp spring dayStars in our eyesPromises on our lipsI doAnd I do, too The second timeA 3-day ceremonySoundtracked by tears and breaths In perfect synchronyWorking to bring our creationEarthside and into our arms The third time Standing in…