Sitting in the garden last week, as if in slow motion,I watched my daughter touch a bumble bee on the backAnd then lean forward to blow it a loud, exaggerated kissBefore it flew away Maybe not the safest thing to be observing, without stepping in,But I was mesmerized by the sceneAnd I was also tiredBut…
This past weekend, on Saturday, August 14th, my grandfather passed away. It’s strange writing this out knowing that his email address is subscribed to my blog, so as soon as I hit “publish”, an inbox that used to belong to my grandpa will get a notification announcing his passing. It’s all just…strange. Two weeks ago,…
Have you ever taken the time to think through and write out what a healthy state of mental functioning looks like for you? We know automatically what physical wellness feels like. It’s something we have been in-tune with our whole lives. Our first wellness checks at the doctor start at 2 days old, and they…
For over a year now, I have been participating in a Monday night zoom call called “Monday Mamas.” It is facilitated by the lovely Dawn Geschiere of Yes To Life Coaching. This month, we are having weekly, facilitated discussions around the topic of courage. About two months ago, Dawn was diagnosed with breast cancer. Being…
People talk about the big moments of parenting. The things your spouse will do that make you fall more in or out of love with them as you embark on the daily practice of raising a child together. There are the obvious moments I feel more in love. Watching him cradle our infant just minutes…
Over the last year and a half, my anxiety has gone through some interesting evolutions. At the beginning of the pandemic, when I was also one month postpartum, it was at an all time high. In recent months, it has been at an all time low. In fact a few weeks ago I kept feeling…
I don’t recall the last time I laughed so muchOr cared so littleEspecially with spandex coveringOr barely coveringThe softest parts of my body The beach was crowded when we entered the surfBut when we emerged hours laterThe sudden emptiness surrounding us felt disorientingWhere were the sun tents, the castle builders, the couples?Even the seagulls had…
For two months now, I have been dedicated to a daily practice. Each morning I wake up and write morning pages before doing anything else. Some mornings my eyes are half open as I write and I can barely see the words spilling onto my pages. The mornings I think I have nothing to write…
Millions of prayers whisperedAs parents look down on their young A full lifeA future wifeHealth, wealth, and safety These words are prayers but more like pleasA dealA demandA need We dream of hopes for those tiny toesAnd wishes for that grinBut what if all we hope for them is already within? I pray for self-acceptance,…
A few weeks ago, I closed off another round of working with the counselor who inspired this blog 10 years ago. When I started seeing him about 7 months ago, my inner guiding voice was a hot mess. Between having an infant at home, the pandemic, and working full-time from home with said infant, things…
The Other Courtney 