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Partying With Astronauts

One time I went to a Christmas party at an astronaut’s house. I was thirteen years old and the thought of a world existing outside of my egocentric teenage bubble seemed unrealistic, maybe impossible. I remember standing in the astronaut’s gigantic kitchen staring at a shadowbox on the wall, it reminded me of the exhibits…

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The Worst Compliment

Ladies and Gentlemen, There is such a thing as a horrible compliment. Maybe you’ve received one before- “I love your new shirt, SO much better than the garb you normally wear” or “your face looks so chubby in your old pictures, you look great now!” I’ve received both “compliments” and neither quite gave me the…

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Bah Humbug at the Post Office

I have a habit of interjecting myself into disputes with strangers that I don’t directly have anything to do with. I can’t help it! When I see something unjust happening, the Aries in me kicks in and I just have to get involved. Remember that time I threw ice cream at a woman? Cant.Help.It. Yesterday…

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An Interview With My Mother

No, it’s not Mother’s Day. Yes, this is an interview with my mother. Why? Because she is funny and has some good perspective on life. She raised four daughters and lived to tell about it. She once had major brain surgery because my sisters and I literally made her lose her mind. Okay, not really.…

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Little Conversations (Soap)

Isaac: UGH gross your new hand soap smells like Desitin Me: Desitin…the diaper rash cream?? Isaac: YES Me: How do you know what Desitin smells like? Isaac: You know, from when you’re a baby and you have to have diaper rash cream put on you (giving me a look that says DUH) Me: Ummmm no,…