Wrote this fervently after my session so I could remember every little detail before they slip away. Please excuse any typos/grammatical errors —————————————————————————
I just had my first hypnosis session with Virginia. It was one of the most bizarre yet most wonderful experiences I’ve ever had.
I was really scared of being hypnotized. Virginia is someone I trust wholeheartedly though, so I was willing to give it a try with her. She has been a licensed hypnotist (and counselor) for a long time now and I knew she would keep me in a safe place. I’m not even sure what that means as far as hypnosis is concerned, a safe place, but I have just always been scared of losing complete control of my brain and conscious state when someone else is in control.
She had me stare at a spot on the ceiling and was talking me into the hypnotized state. Soon the whole room turned silver and her face (in my peripheral vision) became metallic and shined so bright I had to look away from the ceiling to get a better look at her face and at what was going on. It was almost scary how bright and metallic it looked, it almost felt monster-like. When I broke contact with my spot on the ceiling, her seemingly metallic masked face disappeared and she was there again. It reassured me that I was fine and to get back to the hypnotized state. Quickly, the room turned bright silver again and this time I let it happen. I let her talk me into the point where my eyelids were so heavy I could no longer keep them open.
She talked me through deeper stages of hypnosis, at one point even counting up to 20. She set a scene for me where I was walking down a marble staircase in my bare feet. The stairs were covered in a plush, red carpet that felt amazing between my toes. When I reached the bottom of the staircase, I was in the deepest point of hypnosis I believe. It was then that she started the talk about my skin.
The point of our sessions together is to help my eczema, which is often triggered by stress. Anybody who has eczema and doesn’t believe there is a connection between stress and eczema is craaazy. She talked about how there was a wave of protection covering my skin, flowing all over my face, down my arms, down my legs. I could feel it. I could feel the tingling and comfort of this protective barrier. She told me that from this point forward, I would have this protective barrier and nothing could break it. She told me that my skin would not feel as sensitive to things I came in contact with anymore. She also reassured me that of course I would feel pain if necessary, if my body needed to be warned that I was in trouble, but on a daily basis it would just not feel so sensitive to outside factors.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. It was the first time in my life I have felt so comfortable in my own skin. For 10 minutes (I’m guessing about the timing, I actually have no idea how long she spent on this part of the hypnosis) I suddenly felt like my body was void of rashes, scabs, or any feelings of discomfort. I felt like my skin was made of silk, porcelain, glass, everything smooth and perfect you can imagine. I remember thinking “is this what it feels like to not have eczema? THIS is what it feels like to sit in a chair and NOT think about how the fabric is causing little welts to appear on the back of my thighs. THIS is what it feels like to think about my skin in a positive, happy way instead of agony. THIS is what it means to be truly comfortable in your own existence.”
As soon as the session ended, I sobbed. Uncontrollably I cried because I had never felt so good. Trying to explain it to Isaac, I could only come up with this analogy: Imagine you have had a headache your entire life and for 10 minutes, 10 beautiful minutes, it was completely gone. You felt NO pain, only extreme comfort and happiness. It left me in tears even after Virginia left my house. In my mind, I keep going back to that place she put me in, that happy place. When I think hard about it, I can still feel the wonderful tingling sensations running down my arms and legs. Little waves of smooth, flowing liquid that make my skin feel like satin. It’s hard to find the words to describe just how good it feels.
In a 30 minute hypnosis session, I felt so happy in my own skin. This means that it really is mind over matter. Virginia told me that the point of hypnosis is to reach someone on a subconscious level, which is often times what can cause eczema flares. Obviously this doesn’t mean I’m not going to have eczema still, I’m realistic after all, but my subconscious brain feels differently about my skin now. It doesn’t feel as overwhelming or confining. I think as we do more and more sessions it will only get better.
I didn’t think I would be able to be hypnotized. I was scared of what might happen. Several times during the session, my heart started racing and it felt like there was lead on my chest. My jaw felt tight and like it was hard to move. I felt okay though because even though I was hypnotized I was still HERE and somewhat present, if that makes sense. I knew that at any point I could open my eyes. I also knew that I didn’t want to.
I can’t wait to see what future sessions hold for us. I will definitely feel more relaxed going into the next one now that I know what to expect a little bit more. To feel so comfortable in my own skin, I’d do this hypnosis session every single day if possible! That’s the cool part about this though, I still feel insanely happy even though the session ended an hour ago. I still FEEL that comfort and happiness exploding out of me like beams of light. Yes, my eyes are still a little swollen from this week long allergic reaction I’ve been battling and my skin is still tight and extremely dry, but I don’t even care. I feel comfortable in my skin, happy in my skin, for maybe the first time ever.